Mom?

It is weird. It's definitely weird to think of myself as a mom. I feel very young. I feel nervous. I feel overwhelmed. It's just such a different way to see myself. One minute I'm just some young person, going about my life, basically doing as I please - and then BAM! - Now my life is very monopolized by this one little, tiny person.

That said, I also REALLY love it! Just the small little moments I've had over the last three weeks holding him, cuddling, feeding, rocking, bathing, seeing him with Robbie . . . even calming him and waking up in the middle of the night have been really wonderful - totally stressful at times - but honestly and truly wonderful, too.

I've never been a big "baby" person. I don't know how to say that without sounding like a some kind of a jerk, but really, I've never been a person that needs/wants to hold babies or even the person that wanted a baby until about a year ago. I always knew I wanted to be a mom, but I didn't feel truly ready to take care of a baby until just a few months before we got pregnant.

So what's the point to all this? This is the point: I'm really enjoying this more than I thought I would. Sure, there have been tears from both Jacob AND me . . . but I just can't imagine life without him. This little guy is so sweet. And it's only been 31/2 weeks since he was born, but it seems like he was always here.

Okay. I'm done being gushy . . . for right now at least. I'm a mom! Yikes! and Hooray!

Diagnosis: Candy OD

This summer I came upon Ruthe, my little sister, in this pitiful state*.

Do they have 12 step groups for 13 year olds?

Upon viewing the clearly conclusive evidence, Ruthe claimed she must have "knocked over the candy dish in her sleep".

Uh-huh . . . Ruthe, admitting you have a problem, is the first step.

*And doesn't it just make it that much more fabulous that she is wrapped in this crazy feather-boa-blanket thing? How tragically hollywood . . . which is right up Ruthe's alley :)

Due Date

So today is my due date . . . however, our son has been with us for two and a half weeks! The day Jacob was born I did have a few moments of panic as I realized that he was coming and I did not have the 3 weeks I thought I had - but I also have enjoyed watching my feet return to their normal, un-swollen size and watching the scale go down, not up - plus it has been pretty great hanging out with our new little family. The past few weeks have been full of adventures - maybe not your typical adventures - but everything is definitely new and exciting . . . and a little scary!!

We got to hang out with family

(Jo and Josh got to stop by on their cross-country trip - HOORAY!)

Liz was there from the first "peeing of the pants" to the birth of our little one!

I'm glad I had her there to keep me somewhat calm when I realized I was going to deliver this little guy 3 weeks early. She thought she was going to be helping in my classroom, but she ended up doing a lot more! - thank goodness!!

The hospital photographer tried to send little Jacob down the river in a Moses Basket. Jacob was not on board, as you can see from this picture, so I put a stop to that.

Then we made the big trek home from the hospital - trying to figure it all out on our own.

Jacob didn't seem too worried sleeping in his pack n' play . . .

Liz and Olivia were here, not only for my water breaking and Jacob's birth,

but then also helped us settle in at home . . . It was really nice to have tons of support.

Our first car trip (to the doctor's) . . . And of course I was worried about this little peanut

sinking into the car seat and disappearing. Look how little he is!

We had our first bath . . .

Mom came to visit (THANK GOODNESS!)

Jacob was born on Thursday, Mom was here by Monday, and not a moment too soon. Sometimes you just really need a mom,when you're trying to be one . . . Yikes! :)

And then my brother Steven came to visit on his way to BYU.

He also brought some special stickers for Jacob . . .

Uncle Stevie!

Our first walk in the stroller . . . big moments for a little guy!

Way to go, Dad!

And breaking in the new crib. He seems to like it just fine.

And that's pretty much what's happening in our lives right now. A lot of feeding, peeing, pooping, burping, strolling, worrying, laughing, crying . . . I pretty much love it.

It Started Out Like Any Other Day . . .

I woke up. I got dressed. I went into work - it was the first day back to school. Liz and Olivia had been visiting since my husband essentially abandoned me for a family reunion and I was 37 1/2 weeks of pregnant - nobody really felt good for me to be alone . . .

SO - we went to school, and the sisters came too, since I wasn't very capable of building my usual desk towers to hang up posters above the chalkboard or above the computer ledge or lift big boxes of books and prizes and other scholastic junk, while nine months pregnant. As we were walking in the door - and I literally mean as we were walking in the door, I turned to Liz: "I'm peeing my pants!"

"You're peeing your pants?"

"Yes - right now!"

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know!"

It was shocking and humorous all at the same time. So of course I ran into bathroom, and low and behold, it was not what I thought. This was not your normal, run of the of mill, peeing your pants. This was . . . something else.

So I turned right around, walked into the main office and stopped the secretary dead in her tracks of welcoming me "back" to school and told her that I was actually leaving school because my water had broke, and just like the movies, "it was time".

Liz did an excellent job of driving me around and trying to keep my calm, while I called my mom, and Robbie and the doctor: "My water broke!" This was all quite unexpected as it was only August 4th and I wasn't due until August 23rd. I was technically full term so there was no need for real alarm, besides the fact that I wasn't at all mentally prepared for the big L-word . . . and I don't mean love . . . (Fortunately, Robbie had just come back into town the night before- lucky for me, and lucky for him!)

There is a happy ending here, though- my water broke at 8:30 AM, we were admitted to the hospital about 1:00 PM and then Jacob Allen Culp was BORN on August 5th, at 12:37 AM (of course with the aid of a dream-like epidural) weighing in at 7 lb. 14 oz., 20.5 inches long and stinkin' cute and healthy.

We sure do love this little guy!!