I'm Famous

That's right: FAMOUS. My good friend Alicia scored some front row tickets to Oprah (yeah, that Oprah) with her witty and amazing 100-words or less essay skills. And not just to any old Oprah show, but the "Date Night" movie show with Steve Carell, Tina Fey, Tracy Morgan and Betty White (aired on April 6th). It was a good day to get a shot at my 15 minutes of fame.

Our day with Oprah went something like this . . .

Since we were going to be witness to Tina and Steve's promotion of their new movie, we got to see Date Night before it was in theaters, as part of Oprah's VIP audience. I had pretty low expectations for the movie (even though I'm seriously in love with Tina Fey-- in love) due to the plot predictability outlined in the previews- but it was funny enough. We ate free popcorn and guzzled free pop while watching the movie at 8:00am as a special favor to Oprah.

Then we were whisked back to the studio on buses (luxury buses, with diamond windows and plush, polar bear fur seats) and given lunch (roast duck, with black truffles, sprinkled with eatable 14K gold and hand-churned ice cream from Switzerland). Only the best for Oprah.

Alicia and I were called as part of the special VIP audience that got to sit the first few rows for the taping (this part is actually true) and got a great, close-up view at all the celebrities (they looked just like people!!).

Tina and Steve were great as usual and it was really neat to see them in person (and from only about 20 feet away!). They pretty much look the same as on TV- you really can't hide anymore with HD. (We know how much foundation you wear, TV celebs!)

Tracy Morgan was semi-crazy, yet lovable, as usual . . . but off-camera he and Oprah definitely had the best "gems" of the afternoon:

Tracy: "Yeah, it was so great to see Tina, she means a lot to me. Her and my son. It's like I know how Harriett Tubman feels now . . ."

Oprah: "Uh-huh . . . and that reminds me of Maya Angelou's new book, No one can do it alone. Whom of course I'll be seeing this Sunday for Easter dinner."

A) Tracy, as much as I love you, you are not Harriett Tubman.

B) Of course Maya Angelou is coming to dinner at your place, Oprah. Of course . . . Duh.

We didn't win a free car, but all in all, it was still a great day. Being on the A-List is hard, but someone's got to do it! (Thanks again, Alicia!)

And although anyone could walk up to Harpo Studios and take a picture next to this sign, not just anyone could have their faces scanned in the crowd, on national television, 25 minutes and 31 seconds into the Oprah show.

(And P.S. As I'm typing away at this blog, Oprah's sacred name keeps turning up on spell check. Her name hasn't been added to the dictionary? Doesn't she have her own dictionary?)

Out of the Mouth of Babes

I recently decided to tell my students my "big" news . . . I was prompted a few days ago by some very thoughtful and honest comments, such as:

"Mrs. Culp," while starting straight at my stomach, "I think you've gained a few pounds."

And, again with the tummy stare, "Wow, your stomach is getting big."

Thanks, kids. They really don't miss anything. When I did finally tell my students I was pregnant, they were very cute about it. Very excited at the prospect of a little-Mrs.-Culp-baby-boy. That made up for all the potential "fatty" comments. (What if I wasn't pregnant and did just gain a few pounds? That would have been a big blow to the ego! However, I suppose the bright side is that I don't usually look like I have a beer gut, so there was a noticeable difference when a child started to grow in my belly.)

Anyway, so once I did drop the bomb, of course there was one girl who piped up, "Oh! Mrs. Culp! That be good you pregnant, I was 'bout to be thinking that was your normal stomach!"

Thanks again, kids . . . and way to go on the grammar usage I've been teaching you.

St. Aldi

Robbie mentioned to friend that we bargain grocery shop at Aldi. To which her response was, "White people shop at Aldi?"

Well, yes we do. At least we do. I have learned what things are worth the bargaining and what items need to be purchased at a "real" grocery store. However, I do think our frugality has benefited us over the long run. If we like to go to the movies and out to dinner and buy new clothes occasionally (okay, that's mostly just me) and have a newish HD TV (that one is all Robbie) then we have to give somewhere.

Just yesterday we bought 49 items (about 2 weeks worth of dinners/groceries) for $107.33-- that's pretty good! I mean, I have to make other trips for fresh produce and such, but we've got the crux of the groceries. (crux?? oh well.)

Robbie is obsessed with Aldi (as he is with anything that is incredibly cheap-- often with little care for quality-- unless it is electronics), so thanks to him, I have gotten on board the cheapie train (yes, that is an actually train).

So- maybe it's a little ghetto . . .

but maybe we don't care.

A First . . .

Since we are having a BOY . . . I couldn't help but make my very first baby purchase.

(Thanks BabyGap sales rack)

I can't believe there will be a little body to fit inside this!

Crazies

Public Transportation is a true joy. Here are a few of the "gems" that I happened to pick up on the train yesterday:

(Man to woman) "I don't think there is such a thing as routine brain surgery."

(Woman #1 on cell phone) "You crazy . . . you crazy . . . you crazy . . ." repeated NINE times

(Mother to young son) "Well, I don't know how far your father's even gonna get, since we got his wallet!"

(Elderly women on cell phone) "Oh!! This phone's on speaker - and I can't turn it off!!"

(Woman #2 on cell phone) "Look, I don't mean to hurt your feelings, but little-miss-princess-I have-to-get-my-toes-painted is going to have to go. You can pay me the money later."

(Two adolescent girls) "Blue is not her color." "No, she just can't pull blue off."

What is going on? Why is everyone so eager to share their business with total strangers? Where is little miss princesses suppose to go and who isn't able to wear blue . . . ever?? Really, someone can't wear the color blue at all?? Also, why do we have to say the same thing over and over again? I get it - he's crrrazy. I got it the first 5 times. And did that mother take the dad's wallet as a threat/punishment or was it just by chance, it sounded rather suspicious. I agree with that man, I wouldn't call any brain surgery routine, and I forgive the sweet grandma for not knowing the intricacies of speaker phone. I mean- I guess its just all in a day on the CTA (Chicago Transit Authority).

Pros and Cons

I'm pregnant. Now, I know everyone dreams of growing their very own alien inside their body, gaining 30+ pounds and having to poop in front of multiple medical staff during labor - but let me tell you, it's not all fun and games like you may think. (And also, I would like to point out that finding a cute and chic pregnancy picture, like the one above, is only available in cartoon form for a good reason . . . sadly, to my dismay, it is not reality.)

Pregnancy Pros:

* Getting to pick out baby names (for a real purpose, not just for a jr. high diary entry)

* Sympathy from husband

* The need for a massage

Pregnancy Cons:

* Throwing up

* Getting fat

* Getting poked and kicked from the inside

* Swollen feet

* Hating all Mexican food

* No delicious, cold turkey sandwiches

* Hot tubs are off limits

* Belly jiggles (in a weird way) when running

* My pants don't fit

* My boobs are HUmongous (no - its not a plus)

* My sense of smell is completely out of control - nothing escapes my attention

* Having to pee 24/7 (then having dreams about going pee and almost wetting the bed)

* Headaches

* Stretch marks (or potential of - come on Shea Butter!!)

* I WILL have to experience labor (my ultimate fear)

And one last Pro . . .

* We will get a baby out of all of this - so that really makes it all worth it. Which is good, 'cause honey, the rest of this pregnancy business ain't doing it for me.

Baby, you know your momma must really love you!

Something Awesome . . .

Think of it as a delicious snack: reading + oreos

Think of it as a wild ride: reading + a rodeo

What Readeo actually means is reading + video . . . but I say go with whatever 'floats your boat'. This is seriously such a great tool for anyone who wants to connect with a child long distance. You can video chat, while interactively reading a book. You not only keep the kid's attention, but you get to actually engage in a meaningful activity with your [fill in child of choice]. It's such an awesome site, I think everyone with a munchkin they love, out of shouting range, should try this out. If you skype, you are already half way there . . . and if you don't, it's not hard to figure out. Traveling parents and long distance relatives will love this! You can even try a free trial on the website.

Click here to experience readeo yourself!

Happy Reading! :)