Trying to teach a class of 30 5th grade students while you are in pain is like trying to run a marathon wearing a down snow suit: its highly uncomfortable and distracting. Two things that should never be paired together.
I had a terrible pain in my gum above my left incisor (my left, your right). My gum was swollen and inflamed. I haven't had very many dental "run ins" (in fact, I've never even had a cavity) so I was taken off guard by the whole situation. My thoughts raced: Do I have an abscess? Do I have some sort of cancer of the mouth? Is my tooth going to fall out? Is it possible to get a zit in your mouth? Was my previously absorbed-in-utero twin coming back to haunt me? Is there such a thing as swine flu of the gums?? And on top of my over-reacting, I was embarrassed that I had some sort of painful growth in my mouth; so I didn't want to tell anyone. Which meant I was on my own, for the time being, to figure this thing out.
After 3 days of a swollen gum, having Robbie look in my mouth with a flashlight and little WebMD I called the dentist. I didn't know what it was, but it was going to get fixed- now!
I was laying the bed the next morning and pressing on the little swollen lump in mouth with my tongue (is that too graphic?) and then "TA-DA!!" a tiny popcorn kernel slipped out of my gum. Finally! Damn you, popcorn!
I mean, why does this happen? When I die, one of my top questions to ask Our Creator is why He invented popcorn kernels to fit perfectly inside our gums (right behind why He invented farting- I'll never get that one). Those dang kernels fit like a glove! Is it a trick? Popcorn is SO scrumptious, and pretty healthy without all the crazy butter and salt . . . and this is the risk I have to run for a low-fat, tasty snack? It's so saddening.
Look how harmless this little guy is (but don't let him fool you!):
The next night I watched a movie with Robbie and enjoyed some delicious Smart Pop popcorn. I guess I'll never learn.
7 comments:
When I was reading this I totally thought you were going to have to go into surgery. ( I didn't see the popcorn picture while I was reading) It sounded serious, then I found out it was the popcorn. That is crazy, and you are funny! I'm glad you are back on it. I would too, its too good to pass up.
I would like to know about farting as well. I mean, do all living things fart? If not, why did we get put into the "fart" category?
Aren't you glad that you got it out before the dentist had to pull it out, though?
I had a hygenist pull one out during a routine cleaning. It had been over a week since I had had popcorn. Sick.
One of my greatest fears is going to the dentist and they pull something like that out of my teeth. Also....flossing DOES NOT remove the kernal...if I was smart I would invent something that helped you remove those pesky kernals. Like a toothpick.
One of my greatest fears is going to the dentist and they pull something like that out of my teeth. Also....flossing DOES NOT remove the kernal...if I was smart I would invent something that helped you remove those pesky kernals. Like a toothpick.
You are kidding me! I'm rolling over this.
why so serious
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